Next in our series of staff member Q&As is Mike, our friend and comrade in arms. The Boxcarr Handmade Cheese team thinks if you don’t know Mike, you should. Sure, he’s a diligent worker with a perceptive palate and years of experience, but he also spins a great yarn, always has the perfect (sometimes obscure) reference, and does hilarious, dead-on impressions, all the while still managing to be all bashful when we gloat about him.
What will you always do?
M: Give a head nod when I pass someone walking on the street.
What would you never do?
M: I would never ignore a homeless person asking me for whatever. Not saying I always give, but they at least deserve to be heard.
What are you picky about?
M: I am picky about my coffee.
What aren’t you picky about?
M: I am not too picky about wine or beer. I’m not saying I’m ok with garbage, but anything decent is ok by me.
What are you glad to have in front of you?
M: I am glad that Boxcarr is ahead of me.
What are you glad to have behind you?
M: I’m glad the past, with all its good and bad, is behind me.
What are you always honest about?
M: I am always honest about my flaws.
What do you often lie about?
M: I often lie about whether I need help or am having difficulty.
What would you pay good money for?
M: A turntable, amazing speakers/sound system, and a good vinyl collection.
What wouldn’t you take, even for free?
M: I wouldn’t take tickets to see Miley Cyrus even if they were free.
What are you endlessly curious about?
M: The non physical/material part of life. The unseen.
What do you have no interest in?
M: I have zero interest in ever watching NASCAR. I guess growing up in Brooklyn stimulated me enough to where I got a lifetime fill of fast-pace, noisy shit.
What do you totally understand the appeal of?
M: I totally understand the appeal of the whole “local” everything. Even though it is ridiculous at times (Portlandia’s local episode, for instance), in it simplest form, it’s a win-win for everyone.
What can you just not understand the appeal of?
M: I don’t understand the appeal of chopped barbecue. It has the texture of tuna salad! What’s the point of taking so much care and time to slow cook something ’til it’s fall-apart-tender, only to then mince it?!
You’re always late for what?
M: I’m always late for pretty much everything. Never is it by that much, but still late.
But you’re always early for what?
M: I’m always early for watching a soccer game at the bar. Gotta make sure to find the perfect seat close to the tv.
What are you always up to do?
M: I’m always for a long walk with some good music on my headphones.
But you’re never up for…
M: I’m never up for a really loud and packed restaurant. I don’t really get to eat out much, that is, sit and dine, so when I do I want it to be relaxing and not rushed.
You feel for…
M: I feel for people who are caught up in the rat race, chained to the world, and have no view or vision that is beyond what the eye can see.
No sympathy for…
M: I have no sympathy for racist behavior.
What are some fears you’ve conquered?
M: I recently got over my fear of public speaking, delivering a speech at my brother’s wedding… although I was half in the bag when I made it!
What are some fears you haven’t yet conquered?
M: Sooner or later I’m gonna have to get over my spider and snake fears so that I can finally spend the night under the stars in the wilderness.